“Frothed Nixon”
“Shiticane Trumpf = Category 7”
“Rulers Without Rules”
“Sky Blue Sky”
“Liberal Media Bias!”
“The HOT Soap Challenge!”
“Double-Down, Dawg-Ass Stupid!”
What has been mostly missed in the discussion of this uber-gaffe by Eric Schmitt (“Jubilation T. Self-Own”), the lunkheaded senator from Missouri, is how flimsy his entire scheme was to begin with. Sure, he ignored warnings that his supposed facts were completely unvetted. Yes, he pointedly accused a loyal public servant of commiting perjury and being a “dirtbag” in a Congressional hearing (beginng the question to Mr. Schmitt himself, “Have you no sense of decency, sir, at long last?!”) without the goods to back it up. Nothing new there — just ask “Gym” (Fucking) Jordan, another Republican severely lacking in basic human integrity. The GOP has firmly become a party of aggressively stupid trolls who traffic in conspiracy theories and loaded innuendo.
And that brings us to the heart of the matter, which was Schmitt angling for a FOX News-ready “gotcha” clip that could be amplified ad nauseam in the right-wing blogosphere, facts be damned. This is truly incredible stuff to behold. In his own mind, all he had to do was put Jack Smith in the same city (Atlanta) as Fani Willis, the Fulton County DA investigating election interference by Trump & Co. And, per Schmitt, this was suspiciously on the day after her public testimony about a relationship with her fellow special prosecutor. That’s it!! If Smith is even in Atlanta, allegedly at an Atlanta Hawks basketball game, then the case is open/shut and the conspiracy is proven (that is, “within the bottomless dupability of the addled MAGA horde”). And there is zero evidence that Willis was even at the game. Doesn’t matter. Sean Hannity, that paragon of journalistic ethics, immeditely pounced on the bogus claim by posting it to social media, before quickly deleting it when it all unraveled. As stupid and ham-fisted as it was, this points to a much, much larger truth of how the right-wing media machine operates. It is a loose collection of mouth-frothing, cretinous troglodytes. JD Vance’s job is essentially that of Vice Troll. Every time he opens his doltish yapper, out flows the raw sewage of counterfactuals and fits of delusional projection. And while some operatives are slick and deep-pocketed, like at FOX, others are blogging from their parents’ basement or else vibe-casting from the manosphere. Hawks or Hawkeyes, who cares? Women’s college game or men’s profressional, what’s the diff? College Park, MD or Atlanta, GA, close enough! The dots can be light-years apart and yet still connected in this alt-universe “own the libs” douche-o-sphere. And after it collapsed, what did Schmitt do? He doubled down, of course, by climbing atop Jim Jordan’s flimsy claim that the accused told “half-truths” to Congress, saying, “Jack Smith has lied before.” The Kafka Meets Caligula-style idiot’s orgy of Republican corruption and stupidity continues apace. While the overarching mega-ultra-super-irony is that this clown show is part of the long-running campaign to run interference for, and curry favor with, the single most corrupt, mendacious, vindictive, unlearned, unethical, unrepentant sleazebag to ever hold high office in America. The proverbial elephant in the room and asshole deluxe, Donald J. Trumpf.
ISSUES THAT DRAW REPUBLICAN/FOX NEWS OUTRAGE:
Hillary’s e-mails
“The War on Christmas”
Obama’s tan suit
Obama saluting a soldier with a cup of coffee in his hand
Benghazi…!!!!!
Hunter Biden’s laptop!
The seven trans athletes nationwide looking to compete in women’s sports
Jim Comey’s photgraph of seashells spelling out “86 47” (but, mind you, not the pre-existing tee-shirts available online that read “86 46”)
Joe Biden’s cognitive decline
Obama and Biden executive orders (276 over two terms and 162 over one term, respectively)
ISSUES THAT REPUBLICANS/FOX NEWS CHOOSE TO IGNORE (Parital List):
Donald Trump’s cognitive decline
Trump’s executive orders (220 in first term and 288, so far, in his second term = 508 total with over two years left to go)
Trump’s overt attempt to steal the 2020 election, orchestrating a violent attack on the US Capitol, followed by his pardoning of the perpetrators and setting up a slush fund to financially reward them (ultimately an exercise in narcissitic self-absolution)
Trump continuing to meddle in our elections and falsely claim widespread voter fraud
Trump appointing a bunch of incompetent lackeys at key Cabinet positions, such as Pete Hegseth, Kash Patel, Pam Bondi, Todd Blanche and Sean Duffy
The “SignalGate” gaffe by Pentagon Pete, et al, that was an actual national security risk
Trump’s incessant lying and obfuscations about, well, every-fucking-thing under the sun
Trump’s DOJ pushing his highly dubious and often petty revenge prosecutions, including against innocent citizens like David Hearn, on whom Trump & Co tried to pin blame for their incompetent handling of the Reflecting Pool rennovations
Trump’s close association with Jeffrey Epstein and the accusations of sexual abuse that have been made about both men
Trump’s unending and highly selective attacks on the free press, particulary female reporters … while expressing faux feminist outrage over a passing reference by Senator Jon Ossoff to Natalie Harp, who is called “creepy” and also “The Human Printer”… BY HER OWN FUCKING REPUBLICAN COLLEAGUES AT THE WHITE HOUSE!!!!
Trump using false pretenses to hold universities and law firms hostage while extorting them for money and their coerced silence
Trump’s cozying up to dictators like Putin and Kim Jong Un while turning his back on NATO allies and threatening friendly countries like Canada and Denmark
Trump starting a stupid and costly war with Iran that goes on… and on… and on… despite his stated “victory”
Trump stupidly renaming bodies of water, like Lake Ontario and the Gulf of Mexico
Trump’s utterly inane tariff crusade that has spiked inflation and roiled global markets
Trump’s Pentagon carrying out extrajudicial killings at sea
Trump claiming to go after corruption while simultaneously pardoning major offenders of financial malfeasance, allowing them to walk away from their restitution requirements… and himself being the most corrupt President in US history…. by far.
Trump desecrating the DC skyline with his vanity projects under the false guise of national security… and slapping his name on various institutions like the Kennedy Center
Trump’s absurd DOGE purgings that disrupted key public services (nuclear power plants?!) and saved about zero fucking dollars
Trump seizing the “power of the purse” that righfully belongs to Congress, in addition to flouting other forms of Congressional oversight
Trump firing numerous government oversight appointments to free up his corrupt maneuvers
Trump enriching himself and his family in myriad ways that both betray the spirit of the office and are clearly unconstitutional
Trump’s attacks on the judiciary
Trump’s attacks on the Fed Chair
Trump’s history of court convictions for sexual assault and financial impropriety
Trump using public funds to produce propaganda ads
Trump whitewashing American history at the Smithsonian
Trump posting on social media about the recently deceased former FBI Director Robert Mueller, “Good, I’m glad he’s dead.”
ICE raids that lead to innocents being beaten and sent to prisons in Third World countries with several US citizens dying in peaceful protest
Climate change, generally… and Trump’s gutting of green energy initiatives, specifically (allowing China to become the global leader in that realm)
Trump putting the imbecile RFK, Jr. in charge of public health with his crackpot theories about vaccines and funding cuts that have led to outbreaks of measles, polio, etc…. all this after Tump’s fat-ass was barely saved from the fires of Hell by the novel drug Remdesivir
Artificial Intelligence running amok
Trillions in national debt and a crumbling national infrastructure while supporting tax cuts for billionaires and slashing health care subsidies
Gun violence and school shootings
Social Security insolvency
The Qatari gift of a 400 million dollar 747 jet that was “approved” by DOJ’s Pam Bondi, who was previously a registered lobbyist for Qatar… nothing to see here, folks!
The countless government documents, some labeled Top Secret, that were stored at Mar-a-Shit-Show, including some found in a bathroom… with the details of the investigation conveniently kept under seal by Trump appointee, Judge Aileen Cannon.
The list goes on and on with, no doubt, much more to come…
“New York’s Not My Home (But Fun To Visit!)”
My wife and I continued our NYC tradition of predicting the number of celebrity sightings (the high water mark is seven). We set the over/under at 2.5 and I, unfortunately, chose the over. But we did spot one and it was a biggie! Benicio del Toro. So bad-ass cool and even more so in person. We were at the Bergdorf Men’s Store and he was gliding into the shoe department with another older gentlemen. He had on a ball cap but the face is unmistakable. I tried to argue that he’s worth at least two but no dice. That dude is just awesome….
“False American Idol”
“For the love of God, please…”
